This is the history of the 28th day of November in the year of the Roman Republic 49 BC.

Citizen News Due to confusion with the line-up at the delivery service UPiuS, Testicles Testosteronus has been delayed in filing his divorce parchments. The official request was ratified by Senator Heppa Titamus, who also happens to be in business with Orthodontia Testosteronus, the divorcee. Is there a conflict of interest going on here?

Fellatia Flavius and Chlamydia Flavius, rivals for the love of one Harrianus Testosteronus, a gladiator, were involved in ìduelling harpsî. Though a very catchy duet came from the scuffle, Chlamydia Flavius lost an excellent harp and a secret lover in the process. Nothing ever goes right for Chlamydia!

Flava Flavius came down with a severe case of the pox and was last seen bent over a bench, with children tormenting his unconscious form. With great dignity, Flava awoke and made fun of the children.

Slave News (though most of you will not be able to read it) Herpes, Messenger of the Gods delivered a note to Urethra, slave to the Testosteroni, in which was contained news of the fate of her family in war-ravaged Algebra. Is Urethra's brother on the way to Rome?

Hiramus Succubus, slave to the Flavii, has continued to teach literacy to both Urethra and his master Flava Flavius. Surely, this is not something that Flava Flavius wants known, but he will not be able to read it anyway!

Learn Latin in 24 episodes (Volume VIII):
Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant! (May barbarians invade your personal space!)