DIRTY LAUNDRY SEASON XII: ANCIENT ROME
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Here's what happened in last week's episode of Dirty Laundry!
This is the history of the the 20th day of February in the year of the Roman Republic 48 BC.
Beware the ides of February! Beware the ides of February! Yes, we will concede that it is slightly post-ides, but, nevertheless, the esteemed senator Heppa Titamus has been stabbed, and two muscular wrestlers have been found murdered! The senator's condition is uncertain, but we will keep you posted.
A friend of a friend of a friend of Testicles Testosteronus says the legionnaire was furious when he discovered that his son Harrianus Testosteronus had been adopted by Heppa Titamus.
Still no leads on the Heppa Titamus stabbing.
An unnamed source heard gales of menacing laughter coming from the house of Flavius, and the source of those sounds seemed to be Chlamydia Flavius and Harrianus Testosteronus (now, brother and sister by law, though they were formally secret lovers who crossed the class divide to be together!). The source speculated that, "The laughter was so menacing that it could only have been an Evil-Laugh-off. But that seems like an absurd explanation."
Flava Flavius can read now, so no more jokes in the classified section, lavatory walls, or on the outside of his house.
Rebellion '48 Updates:
Diptheria Flavius, who recently declared her intention to run for the senate, now claims that she has a soul! And that the great Goddess Juno has seen fit to grant it to her (COD), care of Herpes, Messenger of the Gods.
Slave leader Hiramus Succubus was seen miming a flower as he left the Glorius Holeus Hotel. Orthodontia Testosteronus, (sans orthodontic apparatus, we would like to add) left shortly thereafter miming what seemed to be a pole or a stick.
Urethra, the co-leader of the rebellion gave an impassioned speech on Aventine Hill, rallying the slaves. Could that be related to the thunderous noises we hear in the streets?
Learn Latin in 24 episodes (volume IX):
Stultus est sicut stultus facit. (Stupid is as stupid does.)